Do you see your of thoughts and emotions as something that just ’happen to you’ or as something you have an element of control over? This subtle difference will have a massive impact on how you manage challenges.
I read years ago (I can’t remember the book) the author described our thoughts and emotions as horses, we can learn to ride them or we can be dragged along with them and we have a choice about which we take. It’s really quite empowering to realise you don‘t need to be a victim to them all the time.
We Can feel powerless and at the mercy of our thoughts and emotions When we believe they happen to us, but when we decide to harness them and find ways to understand and work with them we can have more control and feel, I think, more alive and present in the moment we are in.
Have you noticed a road your thoughts are more frequently taking at the moment? Do they look for the good stuff or are you finding your quick to complain? I know that as time goes on and patience wears thin, the default settings seem to be becoming more evident. I recently read a blog about how we are all 30%worse than normal and we should allow that of each other. It made me smile and feel a little released really. Yes we are defiantly a slightly altered version of ourselves at the moment, I wonder if this is something that will stick with us?
The encouraging thing is that when we recognise we have an element of control over thoughts and emotions we then can have confidence that we can wrk on the 30% worse part too. It doesn’t have to become our new normal, it doesn’t have to continue outside of this. It’s defiantly harder to keep on top of now but hard isn’t impossible and over time we can work on our thoughts.
The important thing is to be kind to ourselves. To know that we are a little worse than normal, maybe we need a little chat with ourselves but keep it kind, make sure you build yourself up not break you down. Talk to yourself as you would ‘little you’ the 5 year old version of yourself. Remind them of their power over their thoughts, help find strategies that will grow beautiful fruit, not sledge hammers that crack through walls.
I’m sitting here realising that another week has almost passed and my fear that this was going to drag has been shaken. There have defiantly been slower days but n the most park I feel like I have been busier than ever. The whole family is home and so we are all trying to find a rhythm that suits us. There’s home school, house jobs, daily walks and me working in the gaps I find. The demands mount up and feels hard to think of more things I am responsible for.
hard isn’t impossible
…….and if your struggling you can ask for help. Ring someone, chat, walk, do what you need.
At the same time I am really aware of the people that have different challenges and varied experiences. This whole time is different for us all isn‘t it. And yet we are all finding ways to pull together. Which is amazing!! We can find the good, in this situation, in each other, in ourselves.
So if your mind leans to the negative, if you feel 30% worse version of yourself, if this feels like a rubbish time because its too busy or too slow. There are ways to help, there are things you can do to take care of yourself and your mind.
Get creative! – make, paint, draw, learn a new skill. I have some simple tutorials here and there are so many other great places to try. Like skill share, you tube and instagram IGTVs are filled with ideas at the moment.
Try a gratitude list – try to write one each morning when you wake up. Or each time you make a cup of tea, or sit and write a list until you can not think of anything else to write.
Take some time for yourself – have lunch in a different room, fix a set time for you to be unavailable and go and read a book / ride your bike/ sit in the garden alone.
Ring a friend – just to chat and laugh and hear a different voice.
Ring for help – Samaritans – 116 123 or email email@example.com . Mind-0300 123 3393 or text 86463 . Young minds parents helpline 0808 802 5544
Surround yourself with the positive influences you need to help you with this. I know for many this is hard, you may not be in an environment which feels particularly positive or encouraging, BUT there is hope. You may not be surrounded by helpful people so be your own best friend, surround yourself with positive words, images, songs. I like to think of this as a Joy Filled Cup, a place where you can sit with your hands around the perfectly shaped mug, its warm and comforting and full of goodness. You are not alone and you can make a special trasured place that can nourish you.
It is hard but not impossible
It is worth doing, because you are valuable. You are wonderful and you deserve the love and the time.